Harvest Pumpkin Goodness

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels...except cupcakes.  They taste pretty darn good:)

     One of my very favorite things in the world to do is bake!  I like to bake cakes, cookies, pies, breads, but mostly, I love to make cupcakes.
     What's not to love about a cupcake?  They fit in your hand, it's just the right amount without feeling guilty, you don't have to dirty a plate or fork to eat them.  They're just a tiny piece of heaven.  Yummm...
     So, when I started nagging my husband for a Kitchen Aid Mixer about three years ago, I thought the day would never come.
     I make cupcakes for everything!  I've made them for weddings, anniversary party's, birthdays, baby showers...all the while, using my little hand held, cuisinart mixer that I paid 0.25 at the Christian Quarter Store in Fordland.  I have to admit, it was a good one.  But it wasn't a Kitchen Aid.

Wedding

Applie Pie Filled
Wedding Shower

 
   Ladies, I hate to rub it in, but I probably have about the best husband in the world!  Last February, for Valentine's Day, he did it!  I got my mixer!!!
     This thing is my pride and joy.  When nothing seems right in my

   world.  When I've had a horrible day.  When all of my dishes are
dirty, the laundry's piled four feet high, the kids are covered in spaghetti and meatballs, and I haven't had a shower for five days, I just go to my safe place.  My little butchers block in the kitchen where my mixer sits all bright and shiny.  Sigh.....All is well.

250 cupcakes for a
60th Anniversary Party

     My mixer and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary in three months.  In those nine months I've made a lot of old recipes and I've discovered a lot of new ones.

     When I "perfect" a cupcake, I usually don't like to share the recipe.  But this one is too yummy not to share.  In fact, it's so yummy, that I had these for breakfast, and lunch yesterday...then a sensible dinner, of course.
     So, with Thanksgiving just around the corner, I want to share this easy, Harvest Pumpkin Cupcake recipe.  It's a great alternative for the kids that may not like pumpkin pie.  They are so easy and delicious!

HARVEST PUMPKIN CUPCAKES
4 eggs, slightly beaten
3/4 c. vegetable oil
2 c. sugar
1 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree
1 3/4 c. all purpose flour
1/4 c. corn starch
4 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. salt

CINNAMON CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
1/2 c. butter or margarine
12 oz. cream cheese
2 c. powdered sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla

Cupcakes: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Stir together dry ingredients in large mixing bowl.  Add rest of ingredients.  Mix on medium for about two minutes.  Fill cupcake liners 2/3 full.  Baker 17-20 minutes.

Frosting:  Cream together butter and cream cheese in mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy.  Add powdered sugar beating until smooth.  Stir in cinnamon and vanilla.

ENJOY!!!

   

   
   

So good they'll make your tongue slap your brains out!

 

Before I Kicketh The Bucket

     I decided about two years ago that I needed to make a bucket list.  Just in case you live under a rock and don't know what a bucket list is, here's the definition from the urban dictionary:  A list of things to do before you die.  Came from the term, "kick the bucket."

Jesus...Lover Of My Soul

     I may have set my sights a little high.  1.  Spend the day with Jessica Simpson, 2. Get a tattoo, 3.  Go on the Dr. Phil show, or be in the audience at the very least, 4.  See New Kids On The Block in Concert, 5.  Own a bakery and call it, "Jenny's Coffee Cakery."  That's just a few.  

     With my touch of O.C.D. I find making lists very satisfying.  The only thing more satisfying is marking things off of those lists.  Sometimes when I accomplish a lot of things in a day,  at the end of that day, I make a list of everything I done and put a big X by each one. Ah...such a feeling of accomplishment.  You should really try it.
     So, get a tattoo. X!
     I have written/emailed The Dr. Phil Show so many times throughout the years that when they see my name they probably say, "Oh, it's Jenny again."  It's not that I really have that many problems, I just really love Dr. Phil!  What's not to love?  He's tall, dark, bald, and handsome, and tell me, is there anything the man doesn't know?  Nope.  I didn't think so.

     About five months ago I finally got a response from the show!  What?!  One of Phil's (that's what he wants me to call him) producers called me on a Sunday afternoon and woke me up from my nap.  The nerve!  They were interested in MY topic!  Seriously?!  We talked for close to an hour and he informed me that he would be getting back to me.  He called back two days later to tell me that they had an emergency come up, that they had to move another show up quickly so I would have to be pushed back.  But hey, I was on cloud nine.  I talked to Dr. Phil's producer!  I'm practically famous now!

From The Dr. Phil Show

     I just happened to be strolling the Dr. Phil website a couple of months ago.  Some might call it stalking, I call it, supporting an addiction.  There was a headline that said, "Are you a Dr. Phil mega fan?  Email us and tell us why you should be an insider."  I thought, I've got this.  I emailed them right away.  I explained in my message that I'm allowed so many celebrity crushes, and Dr. Phil is right there beside Donnie Wahlberg and Channing Tatum.  That must have caught their attention because they emailed me back!  

     Two weeks later I started viewing live tapings of the show online, before they're released on the air, tweeting my opinions about them, and having discussions in a chat room with the other "mega fans."  It's so much fun and you all may laugh, but I just feel pretty darn special!  There's on average, 40 of us that tweet weekly. I would say we're a pretty elite group  :) Go DP SISTERHOOD!!! 

     So, I haven't met Dr. Phil YET.  But if this is as close as I ever get, I'll call it good.  X!

     In December of 2012, it was just like any other day.  I was cleaning house, doing laundry, when I heard it on the radio!  "Turn it up kids.  Shhhhhh!!!  Turn it up!"  They all stopped what they were doing and looked at me like I was growing a horn out my forehead.  The D.J. just said that New Kids On The Block will be touring in 2013.  Nooo way!  

     I threw my dish rag down, ran to the computer and googled it.  Sure enough, I heard him right.  Oh...My...Goodness!!!  Breathe Jenny, breathe.  Okay, first of all, let's think logically here.  I just don't do things like this.  Concerts, yes!  With Curtis and the kids.  But NKOTB?  For real?  I have to go.  I HAVE TO GO!    

     The first thing I done was called my "bestie" Amanda Wright.  "Guess what???"  She was excited but was thinking a little more logically than I was.  This was going to be expensive.  More than likely our husbands would never go for it.  I couldn't wait for Curtis to get home from work!  I'M GOING!!!

     If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm gonna say it now, I have the best husband in the world!  I ordered our tickets in February,  the concert was in St. Louis in June, and for the next four months I was absolutely worthless.

     I couldn't think about anything but "the concert."  Our dinner conversations were always about "the concert."  When one of the kids was talking to me, I was looking at them but I was thinking, "Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie."  The tickets were ordered.  The hotel room was reserved but it all felt so surreal.

My NKOTB ticket!

     And so the countdown began.  96 days.....72 days.....48 days.....oh my gosh 29 days.....two weeks....and for the last week all I done, in preparation, was listen to New Kids music, watch them on YouTube, work on my poster for the concert, obsess over what I was going to wear...It was NOT good!

     The boys were so over, she's my "Cover Girl" and "Summertime" that they threatened to throw my c.d.'s away when I wasn't around.  Ugh...they do NOT want to experience my wrath.

     OH....MY....WOW!!!!  It's Saturday, June 29th, we're all packed and ready to start our little road trip!

     We were going up the night before the concert.  Going to do some shopping the day of, and spend hours getting ready to go stand in line f-o-r-e-v-e-r!  

Working on my poster!

     It was my friend Amanda, my sister-in-law Erica, my brother Jimmy, and myself.  Let's do this!  They were all a little nervous about how I was going to act.  For one thing, I hadn't been out of the house without kids for so long that I didn't know what to do with myself.  Another thing is, I get start struck when I bump into the local weather man in Wal-Mart.  How would I react if Donnie Wahlberg got within five feet of me.  Curtis joked that he had been saving money for months to get me out of jail just in case I got arrested while we were there. :)  They don't have much faith in a sister, do they?

Right before the concert.  This is my excited face!

     From the time we got in the car to leave Marshfield until time for the concert, I walked around like it was a dream.  I was still thinking...this can't be happening!  I'm going to see New Kids On The Block!  I'm going to meet the love of my life (right below Jesus Christ and Curtis Coffee of course) Donnie Wahlberg!!!  I was just certain when he saw me that he would want to stop the tour, throw his career away and come live happily ever after with me, my husband, and our five children.  Why wouldn't he?  Right!?
     IT'S TIME!!!  We spend two hours on our hair and make up.  Let's do this!!!  I felt 17 all over again!  Jimmy, my little brother, had never seen me act like this.  He had only seen the responsible, mommy, side of me. Where I took care of everybody, kept things in order,  and always put myself last.  Well, not today Jimbo...not today!  He just stood back, stared at me, and waited for me to do something really stupid.  I have to brag on myself, I was very well behaved.
                                                                           

It didn't matter to us that we already had our tickets, we still got to the stadium about three hours early.  Part of the fun is standing in line and meeting other "Block Heads."  That's what us NKOTB fans call ourselves :)
     There were several local radio stations there giving away from row seats.  Nope, we didn't win!  But Amanda and I did get our picture taken and put on "The Arch's" web site.  Again, I felt famous!  That's a WIN!
     It's time!  Oh my gosh, IT'S TIME!!!!  We stood as patiently as possibly and watched as they opened the gates. I swear everything slowed down and it felt like it was all happening in slow motion.
     Amanda and I had downloaded a picture of the seating chart to where they were performing, we had our seats marked, we had watched tons of the shows from the same tour, we knew exactly where we were going to be sitting...we thought.
     We went in, started looking for our seats, finally found them and "high pitched scream"  they were soooo much better than we had ever imagined!!!  We were right by the stage.  Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     So we sat, I practiced my breathing.  I ask the security guard that was stationed right beside our seats, how much I could get by with without getting kicked out.  He looked a little frightened.  I explained I just wanted to know if I could stand on the fence and lean over to maybe "cop a feel."  Ya know, of a hand or something.  Get your minds out of the gutter.  He laughed and told me that if I stood on the fence, he would come and "recommend" that I get down so I didn't get hurt, but no, he wouldn't kick me out! Oh good.  Now I know my boundaries.
     Of course there were the two opening bands.  Which were amazing!  But I was there for Donnie Wahlberg, er...I mean, New Kids On The Block.  Uh Hmmm.....
     The lights went off, the music came on.  Their intro took at least three hours.  Okay, so it was more like three minutes but it was the longest three minutes of my life! And then, there they were!  About 15 feet away from me!  My mind worked over time.  "I could have this fence cleared and be wrapped around his leg before he even knew what hit him.  But them I would miss the rest of the concert because they would most definitely kick me out.  And Curtis was only joking about me going to jail.  He would NOT be a happy camper if he had to drive 3 1/2 hours to bail me out."  Yep.  All of that went through my head in about a 15 second period.  Then I think I may have blacked out for a minute or so.
     Then I realized, my sign my sign!  While Donnie's close, I have to show him my sign!  So, I stood up in my chair, the security guard didn't tell me I couldn't, and held my sign up.  It said,  "Donnie, I'm not Single but my husband says your crazy if you don't KISS ME!"
     That's when it happened.  That's the moment he had to make the hardest decision of his life.  He smiled, winked, make a kissie face, then walked away. He had a show to perform.
     The rest of the concert is kind of a blur to me.  Amanda took one picture of me standing, leaning on the infamous fence, in some kind of trance. I wasn't smiling, I wasn't blinking, I'm not sure I was breathing.  I was just taking it all in.
     They sang for two hours.  It was the most exciting two hours of my life!  I can't describe how I felt when it was over.  I was exhausted.  I was somewhat depressed.   I was fired up!  I was thrilled!  I was happy.  I was sad...
     That was four months ago.  Thank goodness those feelings have dissipated.  Once in a while, when I crank up my New Kids jams I still think, "I can't believe I actually got to see them."  This is coming from someone that gets really excited over a new dish scratcher or a different brand of laundry soap.
     I've been a "Block Head" since I was nine years old.  That's 24 years!  In all of those years, no matter what the different fads, I never stopped loving NKOTB.  I'll be loving them forever ;)
     4.  See New Kids On The Block in concert.  X!
   

There we are!  The D.J.'s loved my sign.  I had to let them know, it was my sweet husbands idea!  He's pretty great :)

So he's a Red Sox fan.  We can't all be perfect!

   

   

     

         

Dani Jean my Beauty Queen

     My pregnancy with Dani Jean,  baby girl number one, started out like all the others.  I've always said, when I have heartburn that's as good as a positive pregnancy test.  Heartburn, check!  So, that was the first sign.  And I was extremely tired.  But with three boys, ages three, six, and eight, I suppose that was to be expected.
     Just to confirm what I already knew, I went to the store and bought the cheapest pregnancy test I could find.  I had learned in the past it didn't matter if you paid $1.00 at The Dollar Tree or $12.00 at Walgreens, they all work the same.  You pee on the stick, wait two minutes, you're pregnant, or you're not. Well, I was!  Yaaay!!!
     With each pregnancy we would say, "let's wait until we're past the crucial stages, then we can start telling our family and friends."  Who were we kidding?  I took the test on a Friday and Curtis made the announcement to our church family on Sunday.  When you're excited, you just have to share it!
     As soon as word got out that we were expecting baby number four, the questions started flying.  "When are you due?"  "What are you having?"  "What are you naming her?"  "Is that short for Danielle?"  "Like the boy name?"   "How much weight have you gained?"  "Are you sure you're not having twins?"  "Can I touch your belly?"  And everyone's favorite?  "Don't you know what causes that?"
     I swore to Curtis I was either going to start carrying a sign around or have a t-shirt made that said, "August 23rd...Girl...Dani...No, it's just Dani...Yep, just like the boy name, except with an "I"... None of your business...Nope, not twins...Touch away, and would you like to poke my belly button while you're at it?  It's only slightly sore and stretched to the point of no return...And YES I know exactly what caused this! Do you want me to explain it to you in graphic detail in front of your three children and your elderly grandmother?  No?  I didn't think so."
     I attended my monthly doctor visits, took my prenatal vitamins, got in as much rest as possible, and counted down the weeks until we would meet our baby girl.  
     It was time for my fasting glucose test.  Ugh...I. HATE. THAT!  For those of you who have never experienced this.  You need to!  First of all, you go into the hospital, fasting for at least eight hours and the nice nurse offers you either a lemon lime or orange flavored sugary drink. And they encourage  you to drink it as fast as you can.  Sounds harmless enough, right?  WRONG!  The positive is, they keep these drinks in cute little glass bottles in a very cold refrigerator.  The negative, it's like drinking a very thick, syrupy, sweet bottle of pop, on an empty stomach.  That's never a good idea.
     I chose orange.  After all, I love Fanta!  I can do this!  WRONG again!  After getting about half of the bottle down, I had to make a break for the bathroom and throw up.  I came back to the waiting room, told the nurse that I didn't keep it all down and she said, "I'm sorry honey, you'll have to start over.  It has to be a full bottle."  "Let's go with the lemon lime this time."  That was a much better choice.
     This test took three hours.  I took a book.  I took a nap.  I visited with other patients.  After all, I can make a friend no matter where I'm at.  Then I went home.
     I got a phone call a few days later telling me that my sugar levels were elevated and I would have to go back to the hospital for the six hour test.  Are you kidding me?!  There's always a silver lining.  That's six hours of nothing but sitting on my butt, reading, drinking me some lemon lime delicious-ness and no little boys using me as a jungle gym.  I could deal with this.  The nurse assured me that my levels were just barely elevated so this second test was only precautionary.  That's a relief because if I'm irritable with sugar, you don't even want to know what I would be like if you took it away!
     Guess what?  They took it away.  My second glucose test was elevated as well.  Little Debbie is like a family member at our house.  She's like the sister I never had.  Not only was I sad for myself but I felt like I was betraying Deb. (That's what I like to call her)
     They scheduled me right away to see a dietary specialist to tell me all of the cans and can not's of gestational diabetes.  I was thinking, how hard can this be?  I can not have sugar...the end.  Who knew that everything that tastes good, has sugar in it or has something in it that will turn to sugar?  Oh my gosh!  My poor baby was going to starve to death!
     "Mrs. Coffee, you need to avoid anything white.  Potatoes, breads, pastas...anything else that tastes good."  And then there were the obvious things, "no candy bars, pop, cake, pie, ice cream..."  As her voice trailed off and I grew dizzy,  I thought, you might as well just rip my heart out and stomp on it!  I left the office that day feeling very depressed and hungry!
     And so, my new lifestyle began.  Eating more healthy, doctors visits every week, including ultrasounds and stress tests.  They were monitoring the baby to make sure she didn't grow too big too fast.  That's pretty common in diabetic pregnancy's.  This was my routine for about two months.
     Then the time had finally come.  We had some friends over for dinner, Matt & Amanda Ogle and their girls Gracie and Callie.  I cooked, we visited, laughed, talked about old times, told funny stories, the kids played.  We had a good time.
     I had had Braxton Hicks contractions off and on all day and they continued throughout the evening.  I didn't think much of it.  I've came to realize that the longer you stay home, the less time you have to spend strapped down to that hard hospital bed.  So, I ignored the tightness in my belly and went on about my evening.

Photo taken by Amanda Ogle 12 hours before Dani was born

     Amanda started to notice my discomfort and was timing my "Braxton Hicks."  They were getting more regular and more intense.  She was excited and encouraged me to go to the hospital.  I said, "eh, let's just hang out for a while.  Maybe we'll go later."  I had all kinds of time.  After all, it was still twelve days until my due date.
     Matt and Amanda left around 10:00 that night, we headed to Springfield around 10:30.  My contractions had grown a little stronger and were now 6 minutes apart for about four hours.
     They checked me into triage.  The nurse hooked me up to the monitor and my contractions were still going pretty good.  I can't say I was in pain, but I was starting to feel it.  They came in, checked to see if I was dilated and if so, how far.
I was at a 4 1/2.  Yes!  They wouldn't send me home!  I was going to have this baby tonight!
     The nurse said she needed to call Dr. Walker and see what he wanted to do and she'd be right back.  "What he wanted to do?  Seriously?  Let's do this!!!"
     "I'm sorry Mrs. Coffee, but all of our beds in Labor and Delivery are completely full and we have women in the waiting room.  Is there anyway you could get a hotel room in Springfield for the night so you'll be close?"   "What?  If I were a nurse or a doctor, maybe.  But no, I can't get a room."  "Okay Mrs. Coffee, we're going to have to ask you to go home and call at six o'clock in the morning to see if we have any open beds.  "Oh, okay.  No problem.  Let me just put a cork in this thing and I'll be on my way."  Can you believe that?  So, we left.
     I'm sure Curtis would rather have been anywhere at that moment than confined to a small space with me.  But he said for better or worse.  So, at 1:00 a.m. we headed to The Waffle House.  I would show them, if they were going to send me home while I was in active labor, I would just take my diabetic self to The Waffle House, order a big stack of waffles, and eat real, that's right, REAL syrup on my waffles!  Ha!
     At home, around 2:30 a.m., Curtis's head barely hit the pillow before he was snoring.  And that's why I hate his guts!  I paced the floors all night, I took three baths, I packed more things in my hospital bag, I watched the clock and at 6:00 on the dot, I called Labor and Delivery.  They had an empty bed.  Lets book it!  GET UP CURTIS!!!  "How'd you sleep?"  "Just shut up and drive."
     This time, we skipped triage and they put me straight in my room.  After hooking all of the monitors up to me, a nurse came in to see if I had made any progress.  I was now dilated to seven centimeters.  The doctor came in and told me if I wanted my epidural, now was the time.  "If?" Get that man in here, now!
     The anesthesiologists name was Dr. Casenova, I'll never forget that.  He had me sit on the edge of the bed, arch my back, breathe, and do NOT move.  By this point my contractions were on top of each other.  It's not easy to do the above, while in pain and carrying a beach ball around under your gown.  But I did it.        As soon as he was done, he had me lay down.  Dr. Casenova was just getting ready to administer the test dose when I told the nurse, "it's too late.  She's coming out."  Sure enough, there she was.  When you've done that as many times as I have, you don't even need the doctor.  Right after the nurse caught the baby, Dr. Walker came in.
     Anytime a first time mommy asks me if I had epidurals I tell them, yes!   With all but one delivery and I strongly recommend them!  I can't really describe the pain and if I could I'm sure it wouldn't be appropriate so we'll just say, it hurt really reaaalllllyyyy bad!!!  
     She was here.  My beautiful baby girl.  I looked at her perfect little round body then I looked at Curtis and he had this look of shock or maybe fear in his eyes.  My first thought was, "Oh my gosh!  She has a penis! No, she can't be a boy!  Not another one."  Then he said, look at her fingers.  I looked at her little hand and it looked like she had laid on her thumb for a long time and smashed it.  Then we started looking at her other hand and her feet.  Upon further inspection, we discovered that our perfect little baby girl had twelve little fingers and twelve little toes.  Two of her fingers were webbed and two of her toes were webbed as well.
     I know this may not seem like a big deal to some of you.  But when you're looking forward to meeting your precious, perfect, baby.  And they're born and they're not perfect.  It's quite a shock!  Instantly all of things that I could have possibly done to cause this, came flooding back to me.  Like the time I snuck a 3 Musketeers when I really needed something sweet.  Or that I didn't always take my prenatal vitamins because they caused severe constipation.  Or or or or!  I drove myself crazy!
     I'll never forget what Dr. Walker said at that moment.  "You are so blessed.  It's better to have too many fingers and toes than not enough.  Or she could have been born with her heart or her brain on the outside of her body.  Your baby is beautiful and she's going to be just fine."
     Dani was born at 7:30 that morning, they took her for testing and didn't bring her back to me until after midnight that night. I spent most of the time crying and questioning God?  Why?  What could I have done different?  She's going to hate her hands and feet for her whole life.  Then I felt selfish.  It could have been so much worse.  But we never want our children to have to endure any kind of pain.  Or to get made fun of in

any way.  My mind was working overtime.
     Dani went into the first grade this year and she came home last week telling me that someone told her that her hands are "funny looking."  I told her to explain to them that that's how God made her and her hands may not look like theirs but she's pretty and she has great hair! She said, "yeah, you're right. I am pretty."

After 1st surgery.  15 months old.

     God gave Dani the confidence that she's going to need to get through this mean world.  She's quick to tell people that, "she had shurgery and she can't help it."
     We love our little Dani girl and she lights the room up with her smile wherever she goes.
   

After 3rd surgery.  

   
     So, although Dani wasn't born with "10 little fingers and 10 little toes."  She's pretty perfect in my eyes.
   




   

Danis cute little piggy's and thumbs before surgery

   
   
   
   

Dani on Easter with her nasty pink cast.  Gag!

The night before surgery.  She always has a smile.

Danis webbed fingers and extra wide thumb before surgery

After surgery.  Curtis cried the first time Dani was able to lace her fingers through his :)

Tumble Dry Low

     Note to self:  When a clothing care tag says, WASH INSIDE OUT, MACHINE WASH COLD, GENTLE CYCLE WITH LIKE COLORS, ONLY NON-CHLORINE BLEACH WHEN NEEDED, TUMBLE DRY LOW, COOL IRON...It doesn't mean, eh...it'll be alright to throw it in with a load of colored clothes.  After all, it is colored.  And I did turn it inside out.  So, the water was warm, and the dryer was HOT!
     Daymond didn't ask for anything for his fourteenth birthday.  Nothing!  But he had mentioned a time or two to me over the last couple of months that he would really like to have a Varsity Replica jacket.  Ya know, like the old letterman jackets we used to get with our letters on them in high school?  Well, now you can just go buy them in the store.  It's one of the latest "fads."
     I searched online for a few days before we ventured out to the Mall to find the perfect jacket.  After all, you only turn fourteen once.
     Who knew there would be so many to choose from?  Our first stop, Aeropostale.  I loved the ones they had online and they were only $20!  What a bargain!  Obviously everybody else thought so too because they didn't have any in the store.  Not one!  So we moved on.
     Next stop.  Old Navy.  They keep up with all of the latest trends, right?  I couldn't believe it when they didn't have Varsity Jackets!  Curtis said, "maybe they're not as popular as you think they are."  I rolled my eyes and said, "what do you know, you don't keep up on what's popular and what's not."  He went on to say he'd "never seen anybody wear one."  I told him he just needs to turn the t.v. on.  Ugh...men!
     Next stop, JCPenney.  We walked in and Dakotahs escalator radar came on.  "Mommy, do we get to go on the elevator?"  "It's an escalator sissy."  "Oh.  Do we get to go on the excalator?"  "I don't know.  We'll have to see where the men's coats are at."  "Okay.  Mommy now can we go on the elevator?"  "Dakotah, it's an escalator." "Can we please go on the excalator?" "Okay, let's go."
     JCPenney's had the jackets!  I had to take a moment to rub this in my husbands face. And explain that these stores carry these items because they're "trending" at the moment.  Yes, I always have to be right.  And no, I'm not proud of myself.
      They had two colors to choose from but neither jacket had writing on them.  Hmmm....that's not really what I wanted.  I picked one out, held it.  Looked at it.  Looked at the price.  It was $50. And said, let's go to a few more places and we'll come back here if we can't find one that we like better.  "Mommy, are we going back down the elevator?"  "It's an ESCALATOR Dakotah!"
     So, next stop.  Macy's.  Curtis said, "If they have them, there's no telling how much they'll cost."  But, we threw caution to the wind and headed to Macy's.  Momma was on a mission.  I was holding Dakotahs hand and Dad and Dustin were trailing behind.
     I was doing the bob and weave through makeup, lotions, and shelves when we came to a sudden hault! Dakotah was depending on me to guide her through the store, and I was just ready to get in there, find a jacket, and get out.  I had guided her alright...right into a shelf full of perfumes and lotions.  We knocked a couple of boxes off but even worse was the goose egg it left on her forehead.
     She instantly started screaming.  I'm not sure if she was in pain or if she was humiliated!  Dakotah does NOT like attention and the lady that was working, bless her heart, rushed over to us and said, "oh honey, are you okay?  Do you want to see a picture of my puppy?"  I was just waiting for my sweet little girl to kick her and say, "how is a picture of your dumb dog gonna make my head feel better?!"  But, for a change, she was on her best behavior.  She smiled and the kind Macy's lady gave her a sucker.  I said, "Thank you." And we rushed on to the jackets.
     Ah Ha!!!  There they were.  That was "the one."  He was going to love it!  I was hesitant about looking at the price.  So I slowly, like if I didn't look too fast it would be cheaper, lifted up the tag, and it was the same price as the ones at JCPenney.  $50.00!  Yaaay!!!
     I carried it around for a while.  Looked at other things.  Just to make sure that's what we wanted to get and right before going to pay, noticed a sign above the jackets "50% OFF."  SWEET!!!  God lead me to this store!  We just saved $25.  What a bargain.
     So, after making one more stop, we got outta there.  Our shopping was done.  Daymond would be thrilled.  He got his nice, new, Varsity Replica Jacket, a pair of Nike Elite socks, which might I also add were 50% off.  Woo Hoo!!  And a three pack of Nike basketball socks.  This was a birthday success.
     It's funny how things have changed.  There were so many of us grandkids on the Zimmerman side, that when we were small all our Grandpa George and Grandma Irene could afford to get us were socks.  I remember every year before we would go to our family get together, my mom would tell my brother Tim and myself.  "I don't care if socks is all you get, you smile and act like you're thrilled."  So, every year, that's exactly what we did.  When deep down, I was always hoping for a little something extra.
     Well, I was right.  Daymond was thrilled with his socks and jacket!  He's pretty easy to please.
     And....this brings us to today.  He got the sleeves dirty and needed his jacket washed for school the next day.  It was 9:00 p.m.  I was already doing a load of colored clothes, and although the jackets care tag did say, machine was cold, and tumble dry low, I've been known to bend the rules.  If a recipe says, eggs and milk must be room temperature, I'm going to use them straight out of the fridge.  If a walking trail says, do not walk on grass, you better believe I'm going to walk on the grass.  Yes, I'm "that guy" that parks in the handicapped spot to run in the store.  Don't judge me!  I guess I'm just a rebel without a cause.
    Daymond was going to stay up late and wash his jacket.  I said, "Don't worry about it.  I'll get it."  He ask me if I was going to dry it before I went to bed.  I assured him that if I didn't, I would get up early enough to do it the next morning.  He questioned me, "Are you sure it's okay to wash it with the rest of the clothes?"  "Oh yeah, it'll be fine. Do you know how many years I've been doing laundry? Now, go to bed!"  I washed and dried them that night and went to sleep.
     DAYMOND'S GOING TO KILL ME!!!  That was my first thought!  My second thought?  Oh my gosh!  I don't know everything and I'm NOT always right?!  This can't be happening!
     I went up stairs and in my sweetest "mommy voice" I said, "Daymond, you're going to be so mad at me."  He said, "What did you do?"  There's no telling what was going through his head.  "I shrunk your jacket. I'm sooo sorry."  "How bad is it."  "Um, pretty bad.  It fits me."  He just rolled his eyes and got dressed for school.  That was the end of it?  That was easy.
     This morning when Daymond got up for school,  he put his shrunken jacket on, smiled and said, "Ya know, it was a little big anyway.  I'm glad you shrunk it."  And just smiled at me.  Aww...my sweet boy.
     So, this was a teaching moment for me.  Those tags aren't just there for decoration.  They really do mean what they say.  And I don't know everything after all.
     Following directions isn't just for men and kids.  Lesson Learned.
   

And That's Why We Can't Have Anything Nice

      One evening Devin, eleven at the time, came out of the kitchen and very casually said, "Did you know that if you put a ball of aluminum foil in the microwave in sparks really big!?"  I said, "Yes, I'm sure it does.  Please tell me you didn't."  Guess what?  He did.  He said, "At first it just went spark, spark.  Then, it lit up all over!"  He was so excited.  I said, "Devin, what in the world made you think that was okay?"  He told me that they did it on Myth Busters.  Well, if they do it on Myth Busters why wouldn't it be okay?  Curtis, normally the strong, silent type, piped in and yelled, "THAT'S BECAUSE THEY CAN AFFORD A NEW MICROWAVE!!!

     What started from Curtis's rage, years ago, has turned into a joke that we all say (in daddy's voice) from time to time.  "And that's why we can't have anything nice."  Every now and then, Curtis's temper still flairs but I've kinda learned to roll with the punches.  That way, nothing ever really takes me by surprise.  Hence the numb look on my face when you see me in the grocery store.  Don't take it personal.  I'm just walking around on autopilot.

     Less than a week after moving into our house in Marshfield, I went into the back yard to check on the kids.  It's completely fenced in so they spend a lot of time out there.  What I was met with was more than a little surprising.  Keep in mind, we are only renting this house.  I stepped out the back door and on the big, red, outbuilding by the back fence one of our children had painted this:
NO GIRLS
Well, that narrowed it down to three.  Daymond, Devin, or Dustin.  There were also initials painted.
D.C
They all have the same initials.  So that's no help.  But upon further investigation, the word (can you guess it?)  Devin was painted above it all!  Did I really even need to ask?  
     When I questioned him about it, he said, "I don't know, we're making it into our club house.  I didn't think it was a big deal."  I didn't even know what to say to that.  Not a big deal?  Really?  I said, "Devin, we're renting this house!  Other people frown on you destroying their property!"  His response?  "Oh, we're renting it?  I didn't know."  Because if we owned it it would be totally acceptable for him to deface it.  
Welcome to a day in the life of the Coffee's. 
     Two weeks after moving to Marshfield, we let the boys have some of their "Seymour friends" come over and spend the night.  Including our own children, there were 10 total.  The only rules we really had were, don't be too loud after we go to bed, don't eat everything in the house, and if you play outside, only go in the back yard.  Sounds reasonable enough, right?  
     You would really think in our almost 14 years of parenthood that we would've learned to be a little more specific.  Like, "Do NOT use 

cardboard boxes and slide down the stairs!"  But, we can't think of everything and we must be completely unreasonable to think that they would automatically know that this wasn't acceptable.  So, guess who slid down the stairs and put a nice, big hole in the wall at the bottom?  If you guessed Devin, you guessed right?! 
     Curtis swore after this incident, they would "never" have company again, for the rest of their lives!  We make the most ridiculous threats when we're mad at our kids.
     But really what do they think?  What goes through their heads right before they make the brainless decision to do such things.  As I'm pondering this, a memory comes flooding back to me.
     I was fifteen years old, we lived in a single wide trailer house that my mom worked very long, hard hours to pay for while my friends and myself stayed there and wrecked it most of the time. I remember one day, my best friend Dawn Hutchins was over and we were running and jumping and doing head stands on the couch up against the wall. Things got a little out of hand and I ran, jumped, stood on my head, and put a butt sized hole in the wall!  I thought this was the funniest thing ever!  Not once did I think, mom's going to be so upset.  Or, mom works so hard to provide this place for us and look what I just did.  No, that's just not how kids are wired.  Yet, I expect mine to be different.
     So, maybe the next time Dustin sits the stereo in the second story window and pushes it out onto the sidewalk just to see what happens, or I catch them with the screen popped out of a bedroom window, and the trampoline pushed up to it sneaking in and out waaay past their bed time.  After all, they were "just jumping." 
     I'll remember, they're only kids for a little while.
         
    

   

     

     

"Have a girl." they said. "It'll be fun." they said.

     I'll never forget the day I found out I was finally getting my baby girl! It was just another day, another ultrasound.  The Ultrasound Tech, Lynn, had come to know me by name, as this was my fourth pregnancy in seven years.  She had saw me get excited over baby number one being a boy!  I always think it's great when the oldest is a boy.  Then he can protect the other siblings. Seventeen months later when baby number two came along, Lynn got to see the same excitement when it was another boy.  It was only logical that the first two, being so close in age, needed to be the same sex.  They would grow to be best friends.  And, almost three years later, she witnessed me plastering a broad, fake, smile across my face, with big crocodile tears running down my cheeks when she pointed to the screen and said, "look boys, you're getting a baby brother!"
     When ask what you're hoping to have.  Most pregnant women's automatic answer is, "It doesn't matter.  As long as it's healthy."  Me, being the honest person I am, is telling you.  That most pregnant women are LIARS!!!  The very moment we pee on that stick and see a plus sign, we instantly start picturing one or the other. Pink or blue. Of course our number one desire is for a healthy baby.  But coming in close is a healthy baby, in the sex of our choice.
     So, as we left the doctors office that day.  I told Curtis, my husband.  "I don't care if I have to have ten baby's to get a girl.  I WILL have a girl!"  He looked a little scared.  But just like any smart man, he nodded, smiled, and kissed me on the forehead. 
     Baby boy number three, Dustin, was born in December of 2003 and I found out I was pregnant, again, in November of 2005.  I immediately started begging God for a girl.  I was desperate!  I didn't have a sister, every dog or cat we ever owned was a boy, my mom never wore makeup or done other frilly things with me.  I needed something feminine in my life!
     A few months later, in March we were at the ultrasound and Lynn looked at Curtis and said, "Daddy, you're going to want to buy a Winnebago for you and the boys. Cause when sissy gets older you guys won't be able to stand her and mommy one week out of the month."
     YES!!!  Lynn went on to tell us how girls hold grudges.  Even at the early age of three or four years old. Boys get mad and get over it.  But girls get mad and get even.  It's in their DNA.  Curtis was taking this all in, with fear in his eyes.  I was just seeing earrings, hair bows, big lacy dresses, baby dolls...you get the picture.
     So, when we left the doctors office that day, we went straight to the store and bought something pink.  And for the next five months we didn't stop buying pink! 
     August 12, 2006 we had little Ms. Dani Jean Coffee.  She was beautiful!  Of course, all of my babies were, but just look at her.  I instantly just couldn't get enough of her. 
     I DO NOT have a favorite child!  But my instant bond with my baby girl was completely different than it was with my boys.  I don't know if it was because I had waited for her for so long or if it was something else.  But there was definitely something.
     Dani was such a good baby.  She slept good through the night.  She had a very hearty appetite.  All the boys adored her.  She was our world!  The whole family catered to her every need and desire.  We didn't realize at the time the damage that we were doing to our little princess.
     At fifteen months old, Dani had to have surgery on both of her feet and one hand.  (I'll get into that in another blog)  She was in full casts from her hips to her toes and her full arm for five weeks.  She couldn't walk, she couldn't crawl, she couldn't stand, she couldn't hold onto a cup or bottle very easy.  She was basically helpless.

    We should have taken it as a sign that our baby girl was "changing" when she used her cast as a weapon and bloodied one of her brothers' noses.  I made excuses for her.  I mean, look at her.  Wouldn't you be irritable if you were all bound up like that? Yeah, that's what I thought!
     We couldn't wait for the day that she got to get the casts removed.  It was like a countdown to a holiday at our house.  So, we made the trip to St. Louis, to the Shriner's Hospital for Children.  Got the casts off, got some goodies from the nice guys in funny hats :) And headed home.
     Dani slept for most of the four hour drive home.  When we pulled into the driveway, Granny and all the boys were lined up on the porch waiting for our return.  When I got her out of her car seat to take her in, if I didn't know better, I would have sworn they gave us the wrong baby in St. Louis.  Gone was my sweet little "Dani girl" and in her place was this hateful, mean, possibly possessed, animal! 
     "Poor baby.  She's been through so much." said Grandpa. 
Hello!!! What about ME? Your poor baby? Do you not see this child beating the snot out of me? 
"Come to Grandpa sugar."  Gag!
     I'd like to tell you it got better.  But...that would make me a liar.  With three big brothers to do as they're told, when they're told.  It makes getting what you want super easy. They thought her little temper tantrums were "cute."  I tried to tell them that it wouldn't be cute when she was four or five and even less cute at fourteen or fifteen but they didn't listen.
     Fast forward about a year.  Guess what? I found out I was pregnant.  This time...not planned.  I.  Was.  Devastated! 
     After I came out of shock and quit crying.  I started begging God for another boy!  It's funny how time and circumstances change your mind and way of looking at things, huh?  My reasoning was, Dani was our little princess, I wanted her to have all the attention she could get.  She's been through so much and still had more surgeries to go.  She didn't need to have to share that with another girl.
     God does have a sense of humor.  First I couldn't get a girl.  Now I have two!  Meet Dakotah Jo.

Dani and Dakotah couldn't be more different.  God knew what He was doing after all.
     There are days that my girls make me crazy and I'm tempted to lock myself in the bedroom and cry.  But Dakotah has figured out that she can pick my lock with my van keys.  So, that doesn't work.
   Curtis constantly has to tell Dani that "the whole world is NOT a stage!"  She dances and sings down the aisles of Wal-Mart like she's the only person in the world!  It humiliates daddy.  I tell him that if he would just look around, lot's of other little girls do the same thing.  It's just not okay with him. I guess I've learned to pick my battles.  If you're gonna dance, just do it behind me so I don't run over you with my cart.
     Dakotah, on the other hand.  If I take a picture or video of her and she finds out that I put it on Facebook or YouTube, without her approval, she will have a total meltdown in no time flat.  I have to warn family and friends that come over NOT to mention a picture of her that I shared on social networking if they don't want to see a complete transformation!  It is not pretty!
      Even with all of their idiosyncrasies, my girls are so special.  
     Dani has such a heart for others. And at such a young age, she is eager to worship God.  And Dakotah is my little mini me.  She is by my side and does anything and everything that I do and need done.  This is an eye opener.  And makes me strive to be more like Jesus everyday, knowing that I've got little shadows watching my every move.
     So, are boys easier than girls?  In a lot of ways, yes!  But would I trade them?  Not for anything in the world!  

My sweet baby girls

     

Showing their individuality
Dani-the model
Dakotah-the gangster

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

     I recently started quite a controversy on Facebook.  That wasn't my intentions but that's what it turned into. Which, in part is why I started this blog.  I thought, it's my blog, I can say what I want.  If you don't like it, don't read it!  Easy enough, right?!

     The question I posed was this:  If you were trying a new dessert recipe and right in the middle of it, you realized you were out of milk, you had everything else in the bowl already but lacked milk. But you do have breast milk in the freezer. Would you a) use the breast milk. You're home alone and who's gonna know. Right? or b) scrap all the ingredients and try the recipe another time?

     Keep in mind, borrowing from a neighbor or putting the ingredients in the fridge and going to the store weren't options, it was the end of the week and there was no money in the bank.  What would you do?

     I got several different kinds of responses. Anywhere from: "scrap that" to "use the breast milk, it's natural" to "seriously Jenny? your sick"  

     Let me remind you.  This was a hypothetical situation ;)

     I posted this question early in the morning and noticed when I logged into my Facebook page around bedtime that evening that there were close to 80 comments on the post. I had started a war!  It went from, what I intended to be funny and entertaining to a, let's see who can make whom the maddest.

     One person said it's "disgusting!" That it "carries all kinds of germs and will give you an infection."  How ever do our babies survive?  Another said, "it's natural and a beautiful thing" and it's a "God given right."

     Apparently these people didn't listen to my question. I didn't ask how they felt about breast feeding. I ask how they felt about substituting breast milk for store bought milk. Good grief!

     In the end, I re-posted that yes, I used the breast milk, no, it wasn't mine, ( it was my sister-in-laws) that I didn't really care what anybody else thought. I only ask because it made for a good conversation. 

     Daymond, my oldest, mentioned that those were possibly "the best cupcakes I'd ever made!" Devin said he would never eat another one unless he watched me put everything in them. And Curtis looked a little green when he found out that I put his sisters bodily fluids in our food.

     At the end of the day, this may or may not have hurt my chances of starting that Cup Cakery that I dream of owning and operating one day.  But what it did do was, give my family something sweet to eat after their dinner, give me a great Facebook topic and conversation starter, and I got to make a lot of people laugh! Those are my favorite things to do.
     Since then I've had several people ask me if I'd used any "special ingredients" in my recipes lately.  I just tell them, "what they don't know, won't hurt them."

     

     

     

     

     
Recipe:
Peanut Butter & Jelly Cupcakes
Cupcakes:
2 1/4 c all purpose flour
1 1/2 c sugar
1/2 c peanut butter
1 1/4 c milk (of choice:)
3 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
3 large eggs
Makes 24 cupcakes
1.  Heat oven to 350.  Fill cupcake papers 2/3 full.  Bake approximately 17-20 minutes.  Let cool.  Core centers and fill with grape jelly/jam.  Top with peanut butter frosting. (recipe below)
Peanut Butter Frosting
3 c powdered sugar
1/3 c peanut butter
1/4 milk
1 1/2 tsp vanilla 
1.  Mix powdered sugar and peanut butter in medium bowl with spoon or electric mixer on low speed. Stir in vanilla and 1 TBS of milk at a time.
2.  Gradually beat in just enough remaining milk to make frosting smooth and spreadable.  If frosting is too thick, beat in more milk, a few drops at a time.  If frosting becomes too thin, beat in a small amount of powdered sugar.

Tip:  If you substitute ingredients, keep it to yourself, people get all weird about it :)
ENJOY!!!

Lock Me Up & Throw Away The Key

     If you're the mother of small children, you'll understand me when I say, I get really tired of hearing the sound my own voice! My days typically go a little something like this, "No Dakotah! Do not write on yourself with markers!  I love u too Dani.  Dakotah, put the wet cat back outside.  I love u too Dani.  Dakotah, quit pretending like you're smoking the ink pen. I love u too Dani. Hey Daakkoottaahh, where are you? Oh there u are. Painting the bathroom with green nail polish...I LOVE U TOO DANI!"

     Sounds familiar to anyone?  Or are my kids the only ones that seem to make it their life's mission to run me as ragged as possible and try their best to make me cry before the sun goes down?  The above scene really happened, about two years ago.  That was probably one of those days that by the time I got supper on the table and everybody had their second or third plate, I was laying in the floor, in the fetal position, slobbering all over myself and Curtis was wondering what happened to his fun loving wife that he used to come home to every day after work.

Poor Mommy needs a time out!

     Well, since then I've grown some pretty thick skin.  And learned to block things out. I'm pretty sure it's a gift.  My mom and dad both say, "I don't know how you can just sit there and ignore Dakotah crying like she's not even there!" or "Why don't you answer him?! That drives me crazy!"  It was either learn to block out a little bit of the insanity, or kill somebody.  I knew the second wasn't an option.  For one,  orange is NOT my color.  And, I know I'm not tough enough for the prison life.  So, I went with the "tune em' out" method. It works really good for me!

     One day a couple of summers ago, I was cooking dinner and the kids were all playing outside. Running in and out, in and out.  I was just doing my thing. (ignoring the slamming door) Devin, 10 at the time and Kaya, my stepdaughter, then 12 said they were going for a walk.  I told them that was fine, just don't go too far and don't stay gone long.  They are our explorers. 

     If I haven't mentioned it in my past blogs.  Devin's my child that I have to be very specific with.  I'm honestly not sure how I've kept him alive this long or at the least from severe harm.  My daily dialogue:  "Devin, don't run with scissors...Devin, you can't use that sharp knife...Devin, don't jump off of the roof...Devin, don't drink anti-freeze." Okay, maybe that last one was an exaggeration. 

     Anyway, about 100 yards from our driveway, in the middle of the highway, there's a dead opossum.  It's been there for a few days and every time we drive by it, Devin wants me to slow down so he can inspect it.  I'm sure you can all see where this is going.

     On their walk, Kaya and Devin discovered that not only was the poor opossum murdered, but she also had three babies that were dead too.  They came back in from their adventure and Devin was excited to tell me about the babies. Kaya was sad. She thinks it's a tragedy anytime an animal dies. ANY animal! She has such a big heart.

     Devin proceeded to say, "Ya know, there's blood everywhere around that opossum."  I said, "Yeah. I'm sure there is." He said, "And when you pour peroxide on it, it bubbles like crazy!" I said "Why were you guys in the middle of the highway in the first place?" He said, "that's where we were taking our walk." Then I ask him, "And why in the world did you have peroxide with you?"  He looked at me with a look on his face like, you are sooooo stupid.  And said, "We didn't. We came back and got it!" DUH!!!

     Ya know, 3 hots and a cot sounds better all the time.  They'll let me have my books, right?!